Life is a cycle. The day we were born we are helpless. We depend everything to the person who brought us into this world. Our parents. Through them we learn almost about everything. We go through a process of childhood, teenagers and adulthood and one day become a mother or father ourselves. Through this process lots of experience and people involve. There are good moments, sad and bad and it is all up to us to weigh the situation and learn the lesson from all. We never know our path. When we grow up our parents will give their advice what to do and where we should put a distance or avoid. Some will say bitter experience teach us more but it not always true. It is how we take it and lesson learn from it, our adjustment and our ability to handle each situation with patience, hope and faith.
Being a Muslim we believed every turn of event there is a reason behind it and of all time we must search for it to make sure our strength and a test in our faith. Hope will carry us and as long as we have hope and faith things will work out well, Insha’Allah. The ingredients are our believed and want to do everything in life together with hope and faith and without forgetting our doa’s and prayers will decide the success of everything and this is what I’ve been through from the first day of Ramadhan 2010.
My father was in and out of hospital since beginning of the year and all the time the doctor confirmed he is clinically fine. He followed his medication routine religiously until he’s in hospital again in June 2010 where his medication running out before his routine medical check-up. He is now 75 years old and I can say he is very stubborn in some ways. He will do what he believed and hardly want to listen to others. As a former school teacher and headmaster with many other portfolio attach to it, he does things the way he want it. He is fierce and his words is a command. My siblings and I lived with it until now basically. During our childhood days from the moment we wake up until we went to bed there are sets of rules and schedule we must obey. Homework, reading, mengaji, housework during weekends and many more. Although it is part of our school work and other activities we find it difficult to do it that time because it looks like a regime camp. There is timetable for everything. Our fun times and leisure is totally different from children now days I can say because we involve in his passion and past time interest such as his fishponds and dusun with durian, mangoesteen, rambutan and others. We also tag along with his sports activities to and attend many functions which involve the school. Not like children now days, leisure time spent in the shopping mall, kfc, Mc Donalds and any other outlets. Above all that he’s done a good job raising seven of us and seeing us through college and universities until we are on our own. He has said nothing about our success but I am sure deep down in his heart he is happy.
I’ve gone through many bed ridden elderly in the family from my late grandfather to my late uncle and aunties but it was not the same seeing my father is not mobile anymore. It gone through stages couple of years ago from his triple by past operation, followed by diabetes two years ago and other complication, one after another. Even with his sickness he still wants to feed the fishes in the pond, his chickens and taking care of all the trees including the flower-pot. As days goes by everything weaken in his body until he can’t move on the 5th day of Ramadhan. Only his spirit and pride stays and refused help from us. He still does everything himself even going to the bathroom and I saw every steps of it today. I nearly cried as he struggles but nothing I could do only keep on praying if he is given longer times to live please take that disability away from him.
To many he stay as a fierce, angry man but to us he is our father who raised us and be what we are now. He has lots to offer but unfortunately luck is not on his side. My late grandmother is very proud of him and I can remember she praised him for taking care of the family and his siblings. With all the disadvantage he push himself through for his teaching certificate, went to England and devote himself in teaching. I believed teaching is his passion and until his retirement he refused to become a lecturer. His reason always be he loved being with the children and understand their needs. Literature and sports among other passion he has. Even at the hospital bed he still recite Shakespeare and I’ve heard about Macbeth, Hamlet and others as long as I can remember. I laugh to myself even to this day I need to refer to the books or any other sources for Shakespeare quotes but all this is at his fingertips. Stage play for English theater are his favourites.
He loves sport. He played hockey and football during his college years and rugby to. He read a lot and his interest is various. I’ve not gone through his books for the past couple of years but I am sure there are plenty of collections. As a qualified gymnastic instructor he spent days and months with the young children in the primary school training them and if I recall correctly Melaka team become a champion in one of the competition. My youngest sister was there on that day and she said to us, all of you should see how happy abah was for the winning as we hardly see him smile broadly. That was the days of his glory but none of his effort being recognize by the states or even the education department and maybe there is a bit of bitterness in him about this. My siblings and I know that he does not have many friends but he has a very truthful friends until they gone and my father is now all alone among the group of his friends.
It is now a known fact parents are able to take care of their children even how many they have but there is no guarantee we are able to take care of our parents till the end of their life. As much as possible I will try be home often but I do have commitments on my own and his refusal to stay with my sister and me leave us in a very difficult situation. Commuting Melaka and Kuala Lumpur every alternate days is very tiring but leave me with no choices and in a need of time I am grateful to have a job enable me to work from anywhere. Been home with my parents for the past three days given me times to look into ourselves the process of life and perfection never exist in the real world.
For all his weaknesses he still a great man, raising seven of us along with our mother, giving us all the education, roof for our shelter, the happiness and sadness of life and where we are now. May Allah gives him all the happiness in his trying times and as his daughter I can only pray for him to take his sickness as part of the journey in life and may he lives long enough to see his first grandson through the medical school…Insha’Allah.
Written by : Sanaa 20/08/10