• Thank you friends readers and passers-by for your continuous support to my blog. I will not be able to update often now and many articles and short story left hanging in the draft box due to the pressure of time lately but nevertheless I am trying to cope with it and will post few as time goes by.

    Pleasant day and have a good life.



    Good things come to those who wait.
    Better things come to those who try.
    Best things come to those who believe.
    Desired things come to those who pray.

    "Islamic Thinking"

    A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.
    Lao Tzu

  • September 2016
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My Frustrations

Days passed weeks too and months coming by. I have been wanting to write a story for a long time now but nothing success. I even been told to re-write a story I once wrote with a friend but it has been putting on hold days after days. Again I am not so sure the reason behind not writing anymore. I know I got only myself to blame for all this but can’t defined each “problems” and finding a solution.

I have many questions which I throw to myself but it seems taking me far away from my goal of writing.

“Am I lack of focus?”

“No inspirations?”

“No idea?”

“What should I do then?”

And many more comes to my mind each day.

I had a conversations with a writing teacher months back and she challenge me for 44 days of writing without comprise. I did that and I do think I did it well even though at times the topic and write-up can be boring and not much inside. My teacher also give many guidelines on how to write a short story and for a novel but it does not lift my spirit to the level which I want to.

Almost every day and every single moments when writing pops-up in my mind I become agitated. There even times I can’t do my work when the frustration levels reach the max and I can’t control it. It becomes more frustrated when I try to watch a Malay drama or read a Malay novel. With titles, plot and theme remain the same its increases my frustration and I stop even watching the trailer all together.

Still finding the mood to write and inspiration I switched to Hallmark Channel. I watched few movies for the past few days and what I found out is basically their theme, plot and story lines does not much different from one another. But yet I have fun watching it compared to the local production.

It is love story alright, being engage to another man or woman and marry another man or woman. The character went back to their hometown met old flames. Everything in the past starts coming back and bringing them to realise what they want now is no longer the same as before.

Why I can watch all these movies/films? What is the far different from our local productions? A questions I asked myself again and again.

“Is it because the lead woman role in each movies or films have dignity, self-pride, confident and reasonable stubbornness?”

“Is it because the lead woman role been shown the good and bad side of a person?”

“Is it because the way the lead woman role defend herself when the bitch character comes in between her happiness and success?”

“Is it because at times there is no role of 3rd party in the relationship but it’s all about struggle, trying to balance work and life and relationship, family, bosses and work mates making the story more relevant to the day to day life in this world?”


“Is it because our local production can’t bring the reality of successful farming like the ranch in Texas since we don’t have successful farmers?


The list goes on.

Few days ago I read a comment from Seniman President Encik Zed Zaidi about the titles and story line of our local production. According to Encik Zed Zaidi almost all our local productions are focusing on wealth and love; rich man son fall in love with a cleaner, rich man son falls in love with a maid etc, etc and faced with rejections from the family. Drama titles such as Suamiku Encik Sotong, Tersuka Tanpa Sengaja, Cik Bunga Encik Sombong and few others been mentioned lack of quality and not inspiring.

So…what is Seniman actions about this?

Whether it is heavy drama or light drama the theme and story line remain the same. Rejected love, poverty, drug addicts, rape and be delirious still nominate the local scene. Is this wrong? Another question I asked myself repeatedly.

What is the different from all the Hallmark Movies? They produce the same theme and almost the same story line but it is still interesting to watch, although not all or one after another. My frustrations keep on increasing when doing the comparison but I still can’t write what I feel and want.



Sanaa 26/9/16


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